It’s very difficult to pick NFL games.  How Vegas does it week to week, year to year is inexplicable to me. I mean, last week I went 11-4.  That’s pretty phenomenal.  This week?  10-6.  What the frick happened?  (For one, I forgot the Thursday night match-up that first week…  For two, maybe I have really high standards.)  Time for a rundown!One game that I missed hard on was the 49ers @ Bills.  Also, to clarify, I don’t bother with lines, so it’s straight up win/loss for me.  I think the Bills are a half-decent team.  Trent Edwards is passable, and Dick Jauron sometimes manages to keep his Xs and Os straight.  That’s a successful formula, especially if you throw in a solid-but-no-better defense.  That’s not going to win you a super bowl, or a conference title, but it’s the 7-9 to 9-7 junk that Ralph Wilson’s mostly-decayed old carcass loves.  So, it’s successful.

Now, the Niners are intriguing bunch.  First off, Bazooka Mike is flat-out no-question bat-shnit crazy.  I love that guy.  He can be my your coach any day of the week.  I love him because he de-pants’ himself in front of other grown men, not because he’s a kind of bad head coach that makes puzzling goal line decisions.  I love him because he’s a walking Coors Light commercial, not because he’s blowing his only chance at becoming a real head coach.  Then again, when your QB is Shaun Hill… that means Shaun Hill is your QB.  Maybe it’s not his fault.

Anyway, my reasoning for taking Buffalo was because it’s far away from San Fran and it’s cold.  You know the whole shnaz about left coasters hating the right coasters.  Long plane trips!  Jet lag!  Sluggish football teams!  This is all apart of the grand conspiracy to eliminate California from the country.  Roger Goodell is merely the first foot soldier.

Anyway, I was wrong.  Bills choked hard, and the Niners did no better but less worse (huh?) and won by a touchdown.

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I totally nailed the Ravens over Bengals.  Be impressed.

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I totally whiffed on San Diego over Atlanta.  The Bolts suck.  @#%$ you Norvert.  Couldn’t come through for me, just this once?  You piece of garbage.

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Bucs over Saints, score one for the bad good guy.  Sure, the NFC South is more or less a geographical battle (Home team wins) but still, it took my insight into the inner workings of the NFL to see that.  It wasn’t as simple as 8-3 vs 6-5.  Nope.

(And by the way…  MONTE PLEASE DON’T GO PLEASE DON’T GO OH GOSH NO PLEASE!!!)

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The Jets.  J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS.  Jerks.  You go and beat the Pats in Foxborough and then the Titans at home, so you follow it up by… losing to the “Defense?  What Defense?” Version of the Denver Broncos.  That’s real good. Appreciate that.

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Strike three.  I really thought the Green Bay Packers were catching fire.  Aaron Rodgers appeared to be getting on track–and he had a good game anyway–but their defense is mucho worso than I realizedo.  If Mr. 7 for 27, 72 Yards has a good day against you, then something is mighty wrong.

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The Bears look like crap.  Randy Orton’s Brother has went Tarvaris Jackson on us; happy feet in the pocket, uneven and wobbly throws, general look of fear on his face.  The Bears really oughta look long and hard at drafting a QB this year.  I wouldn’t draft a clunker if I saw one, but if you think Colt McCoy is a star, then draft him.  The Orton and Grossman show is canceled.

Sad to say, the defense is probably about to clock out too.  Some of it is poor coaching; some of it is age.  The Bears don’t scheme well enough to cover up the lack of athleticism anymore.  Especially with those godawful corner backs, particularly Charles Tillman.

That’s not to say the Vikings are exactly stars.  The old adage is still true; if Gus Ferrotte is your QB… bah hah that means that Gus motherfloating Ferrotte is your QB.  Plus, your best player is about to be suspended for taking pills.  Oops!

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A quick note about the college game.  I’m doubting what seemed so obvious earlier… will Florida beat the Crimson Tide?  I am no longer sure.  The lack of vertical passing game has got to catch up with the Gators eventually, right?  And as for the Sooners getting the Big 12 bid… they earned it.  And, remember, I totally called Sammy Bradford’s now guaranteed Heisman victory.

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Back to the guys making money legitimately.   JZ and me routinely debate who the top five teams in the NFL are.  This is my top five, driven primarily from the viewpoint of who Random Team would want to play the least…

1-Giants

Well duh!  They have a great coach, freakishly awesome line play and a QB that is now, gulp, getting the job done… a little.  They are really awesome.  I fear the holy gajeebus out of the Giants.

2-Colts

Yep!  I said it!  Colts!  Those U-Helmeted fiends are about to start slaughtering fools.  Peyton Manning is healthy, Bob Sanders is hibernating, Reggie Wayne is feasting, and Tony Dungy is staring.  The gang’s all here!  The door to the Super Bowl is to your left, sirs.

3-Titans

They’re a very good team, sort of like Diet Giants.  But, if Kerry Collins is your QB, that means that… well, you know.  They can be beaten.  Shut down the run game–and someone can, perhaps the Ravens or Steelers?–and watch Collins hand you the game.

4-Bucs

I’m pretty uncomfortable about this one.  I really love Gruden and Monte (see above).  I think they are the best QB-Coordinator pair this side of Coughlin-Spagnoulo, and that’s saying something.  Tampa is well-balanced and very disciplined team.  But, that lack of a stud to rely on worries me.  The ball in Jeff Garcia’s hands, late in the game against the Giants… I’m not sure I like that idea.  But their defense is very strong, and their 9-3.

5-Steelers

I’ll get flak from JZ and Bryan for this, but I see the Steelers as a team led by a terrific QB and backed up by the best freaking defense in football.  Mike Tomlin is no genius, but luckily Dick LeBeau is, and that makes up for it, at least defensively.  With two exceptional players (Ben and Polamolu) they are really dangerous, me thinks.

Any comments, questions or dirt info on Justin, email me not there but here.