A solid week going 4 for 6 picking games last week brings me up to $1200 and at least gives me a shot at hanging around in this thing. Once again, we’re going BANZAI!! all over the place in our continued effort to keep up… ’tis all we can do.

$50 on Giants (-3.5) over REDSKINS

I’m actually not crazy about this pick, because the Redskins have a little Eagles in them, in the sense that about four times a year they play an inexplicably crazy awesome game and annihilate somebody. But I have to pick SOMETHING, and these lines ALL suck. Every game on the slate I don’t want to touch with a ten foot pole.

$50 on Ravens (-7) over BENGALS

Yeah, I’ll bet against the Bengals against the NFL’s best defense, please, and thank you.

$50 on Colts (-5) over BROWNS

Only $50 because there’s plenty of reason for concern that Manning and co. will stick to their usual M.O. of taking the first three quarters off and then roaring back in the fourth for a close victory. It’s entirely possible the Colts win 30-27 or something and fail to cover the five points. I’m not in the slightest concerned about the Colts actually winning the game; I’d happily lay down on whatever money line I can get on it.

$100 on PATRIOTS (-1) over Steelers

Rusher McFumbles has a legitimate chance today to become the first quarterback in history to throw for 400 yards three straight weeks, because:

1. Bill Belichick is smart enough to not even bother pretending to try to run against the Steelers;
2. The Patriots defense sucks, and it’s possible (but unlikely, I think, because Belichick will have a field day abusing the Steelers’ o-line even with substandard personnel), the Steelers will score, encouraging the Patriots to keep throwing; and
3. If the Patriots pick up all the Steelers’ blitzes (probable), Rusher McFumbles will rip them a new one through the air.

Only $100 because I just don’t know whether they’ll pick up the blitzes. If the Steelers get to Rusher McFumbles early and often, they’ll win. I highly doubt it, though.

$50 on RAIDERS (-3) over Chiefs

I can’t believe I’m betting on the Raiders and laying points. My mind is blown just thinking about it. @#$* the heck am I doing? But the Chiefs are awful, and the Raiders at least have a reasonable defense.

That’s it for this week. I don’t like any of these games, but I need to at least put some money out there, which is why it’s only $50 on almost all of these bets. Worst case scenario, I’m back down to $950 and at least have a puncher’s chance still. Believe me, I’m aware I’m going to have to go deep very soon here. It’ll happen.