As promised, here is part three of the fantasy football report.

Background info - This league has been running for a while, but it’s only my second season in it. Justin is also involved in it. I finished second last year. It’s a 12-team league with a lineup of 2 QBs, 2 RBs, 1 RB/WR, 3 WRs, 1 TE, 1 K, 2 Ds and 6 bench spots. Long story short, the league is quite deep. This was another draft that I missed, and the auto-draft handed me some real clunkers in the 9-4 spots, so expect to see a ton of waiver pickups. Here we go.

QB: Jay Cutler (Round 7), Brodie Croyle (Waivers), Troy Smith (Waivers) - I can’t believe the nerve of this auto-draft. Just because I overslept, it stuck me with Cutler, Sage Rosenfels and Alex Smith. The latter two were promptly dumped in favor of two guys who will actually have jobs when September 7th rolls around. Cutler is an average quarterback who benefits from a smart coach and a pretty solid offensive line. Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, if Jay Cutler is your #1 fantasy quarterback, that means Jay Cutler is your #1 fantasy quarterback. Croyle’s probably one of the five or so worst starting QBs in the league, and Smith may not hold a job if the Ravens decide it’s time for The Kyle Boller Project or Kyle Boller Jr. Joe Flacco to step up. Quarterback is undoubtedly a glaring weakness for me in this league.

RB: Michael Turner (Round 3), Jonathan Stewart (Round 5), Justin Fargas (Round 13), Chris Perry (Waivers), Darren Sproles (Waivers) - That’s right, Jonathan Stewart. Again. Perry’s almost certainly irrelevant because Rudi Johnson and Kenny Watson are still on the team, and Johnson has a chance to win the starting spot by proving himself tomorrow night against the Colts. Oh, gee, that’s a tall order. We all know the Colts are going to go balls-out in the preseason finale. And the sun’s going to rise in the west tomorrow morning. Turner’s not even the best running back on the Falcons, so I have no idea why the auto-drafter thought he was worth a top 35 pick. Fargas will see decreased playing time with Darren McFadden in town, so I don’t have high hopes for him either. It’s true that Sproles is a backup for a guy who never gets hurt, but in the NFL I’ve learned to never say never. Plus, return yardage counts in this league, so even if that’s all he does (I’ve got him down for 1250 and a couple of TDs), he still has some value as a waiver-wire acquisition for me. Still a very weak position for me.

WR: Randy Moss (Round 1), Reggie Wayne (Round 2), Chad Johnson (Round 4), Andre Davis (Waivers), DeSean Jackson (Waivers) - This is probably the only position where I have any notable strength. Moss is slated for 1500/17, and he’ll get that. Wayne is on tap for 1300/9, and he’ll get that. Health issues aside, Johnson is pegged for 1100/6. Obviously I’d like to see a few more TDs than that, but he’s just fine as a third wideout. Davis is in the same boat as Darren Sproles, except Andre Johnson is noticeably more injury-prone than LaDainian Tomlinson is. He’ll rack up the return yardage (he’s projected for 950 and two scores), make some nice third-down catches, and jump up to the starting job if Johnson or Kevin Walter get sidelined. Not a shabby pickup. Jackson has a solid shot at opening the season as the #2 receiver for the Eagles, who have an infamously pass-happy offense, so he definitely has potential. While I’m not exactly deep at this position, the sheer talent of my top three guys is probably unmatched in the league.

TE: Tony Gonzalez (Round 6), Heath Miller (Round 14) - Here we go with the two-TE nonsense again. There is absolutely no sense in having two of these things unless they consist of any combination of the following: Gonzalez, Antonio Gates, Kellen Winslow. Jason Witten, Jeremy Shockey and Chris Cooley are all very productive for tight ends, but they’re still tight ends, and seeing as how they are not part of the Big Three, they are of less value than most of the top wide receivers you can find at a comparable position in the draft. Miller’s low-end trade bait, not because of a lack of talent but because of improper usage in the Steelers’ offense. I’ll ride Gonzalez for 16 weeks, and pick up a random schmuck for the 17th.

K: Adam Vinatieri (Round 11) - Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Vinatieri’s 3-for-3. He is on all my fantasy teams up to this point, meaning I’m good to go at this position. Random waiver-wire pickup for the bye week and I’ll be just fine.

D: Bears (Round 9), Steelers (Round 10) - Holy overrated defenses, Batman! The Titans and Seahawks were still on the board, and I like both of those defenses a heck of a lot better than I like the aging Bears. And don’t get me started on the Steelers and their comical idea of pass coverage. I’ll probably work one of these into a deal at some point and pick up a unit with less holes than a block of Swiss cheese.

Miscellaneous: Bernard Berrian (Round 8), Alex Smith (Round 12), Tatum Bell (Round 15), Drew Bennett (Round 16), Neil Rackers (Round 17), Sage Rosenfels (Round 18) - Smith and Rosenfels (sounds like a snobbish jewelry retailer, if you ask me) have already been discussed, Bell and Bennett are irrelevant, and Rackers is a good kicker, but a good kicker is not worth using as trade bait or wasting a bench spot on. Berrian’s release was a total accident — I had the wrong box ticked when I went on a dropping spree, and I got click-happy and didn’t notice that I was RELEASING BERNARD FREAKING BERRIAN. He clears waivers at 2 AM tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be getting him back. Bernard Berrian :(

Finally, as promised, a humorous story from this league: Justin is the proud of owner of The Other Adrian Peterson, and his receiving corps is a pitiful sight. Thus, he and I decided to up the comedy value of the league tenfold by proposing a ridiculous trade involving TOAP and Joey Galloway for Randy Moss and Chad Johnson. The idea here was that I accepted the trade so quickly that I didn’t see the (Chi - RB) rather than (Min - RB) beneath TOAP’s name, and when Johnson’s shoulder issue came up, Justin had the match that he needed to really start the fire. He left two angry messages on the league board, saying that I traded him a worthless injured receiver. But hey, I mean, I was getting Adrian freaking Peterson out of the deal. I can’t show remorse when the guy proposes a nutty trade like that. Needless to say, the trade was vetoed by the other owners, but Justin and I both got some good laughs out of the whole ordeal. This league should be a lot more fun now.

I’ll wrap this series up with part four tomorrow morning. Stay tuned.